I Kraine.. You Kraine..We all Kraine for Ukraine!!!

Hola, my wonderful readers (thought I'd get us started with some German just to jazz up the mood), I hope everyone is doing well. Ive been (poorly) writing this blog for 5 months now and after checking my overall stats about how many hits/readers I've had here, etc. I noticed something pretty interesting, besides the U.S. where the majority of my readers are located, the second largest group is actually from the Ukraine! I think this is awesome and I happily embrace my new found celebrity amongst the noble people of the Ukraine. A big "Thank You" to all who have checked out the utterly idiotic things that I spew from my fingertips every so often, I truly feel honored.
     Now I won't pretend that I am a master of all things Ukrainian, but I vow that because of your wonderful people's loyal readership (or one weird guy who just refreshes a lot in the Ukraine) I will do the best I can to learn of the magical land that is the Ukraine. I found some interesting info to start, at this link here http://bestofukraine.com/culture/interesting-facts.html . My personal favorite fact being  "The heaviest silver coin in the world is a Ukrainian anniversary coin "10 years of hryvnia revival". Its weight is 1000 grams. It was issued in Ukraine in 2006"....(who'd have thunk it!...not me, I'll tell you that....I always assumed the world's heaviest coin would have been filled with chocolate...but hey, you live, you learn).
   Another awesome thing I learned about the Ukraine is some of the famous people who have roots in "The U" (as I like to now affectionately call it.... I would have went with the UK but the English had to steal that too....just like my ancestor's potatoes...grrrrrr). Though they have produced numerous scientists, philosophers, writers and artists, some of the most famous names Americans such as myself would know include Milla Jovovich, Mila Kunis, Jack Palance and Alex Trebek. Now personally, the fact that Palance (one of the toughest hombres (the German word for "fighting gentleman") that ever lived) and Trebek (The smartest man alive) are native sons of this fine land should tell the world that "The U" is a place of kings and I hope all of my readers will also develop a high respect and love for all things Ukrainian.
   With that said...I'm off to learn more about my new friends in "The U". I would leave you with my customary "ill see you when i see you folks" in Ukrainian... but sadly at this point I've only learned http://www.omniglot.com/soundfiles/ukrainian/slowly1_uk.mp3 (which translates to "please speak more slowly")....now off to learn their national anthem.... adios! (see I didn't forget about you, Germans)

p.s. as a bonus I have included this picture (now I know that Petrovic was Croatian....but it just so happens that the Croatians and the Ukrainians began formal relations in 1992 and this is a 1992 Petrovic  Nets jersey....so clearly it all works out!!!)

The Films of Summer 2011 are Upon Us: Part 2

...okay here we go...round 2....I'm all jacked up on Rockstar and white cheddar popcorn so this should be a breeze....

GREEN LANTERN: (opens 6/17) for those of you who read my nonsense when I sporadically post it, you may recall in the past me referring to green lantern as my personal "most important" film of the summer. For me, seeing this movie actually coming to fruition is like a dream come true. As a kid I grew up loving comics and superhero's in general (Batman till this day being my personal favorite) but I always liked the green lantern (GL) story, and for some reason the character of Sinestro was always a personal favorite of mine(hopefully this film and future sequels will show you why). GL was something much different than the usual "lone hero" story. It was grand, more sci fi in nature. It always touched upon the idea that there was something bigger out there, that life wasn't just a series of random events that happen but instead there was a larger universe and plan at hand. As I got older I fell out of the loop as so many do and I lost touch with the stories in general but that all changed a few years ago when some friends reintroduced me to the character and gave me some books chronicling the major "events" the stories have taken on over the years. I was instantly hooked. Reading the past several years of GL titles (which have for the most part been masterfully helmed by Geoff Johns) has been, in my opinion, what people in 77 must have felt like watching Star Wars for the first time. With all that said this is where my excitement for the movie comes in. Part of me thinks theres no way this movie could live up to the source material, but the fact that its being made is hope enough. The first trailer for the movie didn't look great, but since then the film looks like it has some potential. As more information has come out about the film it looks like GL fans may actually get the huge sci fi film we have been hoping for. It really could go either way at this point but if its successful I look forward to what the future holds for this franchise (especially knowing how Epic the sequel stories could be). Without question I will be there opening night as I would only want to see this movie with other people who could recite the GL oath verbatim off the top of their head.....Go see it...opening weekend...see it in 3D, 4D or 5D....Just do it

Cars 2: (opening 6/24) perfection is a rare thing, but in the case of Pixar feature animation it is a reality. At this point they have produced 11 beautiful, well rounded and beloved films. These films have far surpassed numerous live features that have come out in the same time frame and you have to believe that they know what they are doing going into this summer's "Cars 2". A lot of people say that the original Cars was one of the lesser Pixar films but I thought it was a great story that further displayed their gifts as filmmakers. With all that said I have to admit I still find myself wondering if they're gonna go 12-0 with this movie. The first trailer made me roll my eyes to no end (pretty much what I was saying earlier about Jack Black's level of annoying but x1000 for Larry the Cable Guy) and I think many people expect this to be the first time Pixar "drops the ball". Nonetheless, this is Pixar....I'm sure they know what they are doing and I hope to be pleasantly surprised by what they do with this sequel...This will be a matinee for The family and I but I still wouldn't miss it in theaters.

Transformers : Dark of The Moon (opening 7/1) The first thing I thought when I saw the subtitle to this film was "really, they couldn't just pay Pink Floyd for the right to include the word side"?......after I got past the name my second thought was "at least it can't be worse than part 2" ....don't get me wrong, I paid to see part 2 in Imax so I understand and accept that I am part of the problem...and while there were some redeeming qualities (despite all the wrongs, they have just got Optimus Prime's persona so right) overall the second film was horrible on so many levels (The insanely racist twin robots and the constant toilet humor being my 2 least favorite aspects). Seeing the most recent trailers actually made me think they may have learned some lessons from the second film. I've read interviews with cast members who have openly admitted they messed up the second film so I guess that gives me some hope for this one. All in all, whether you like it or not, Transformers 3 is exactly what summer movies are supposed to be and for that reason I'll be there for the midnight Imax 3D showing....

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows part 2: (opening 7/15) as much as I would love to write pages about my feelings toward this film there's really nothing that needs to be said. Your either excited about going to see this or your not. For many people it is the close to a series that they grew up with. Over a decades worth of love towards a series that will live on as a classic for generations. Get there early, enjoy the world J.K. Rowling created one last time with friends....and honestly bring a box of tissues because your probably going to need them.

Captain America (Opening 7/22) Marvel Studios 2nd entry (the first being Thor) in this summer's cornucopia of blockbusters is none other than the Star Spangled Superhero himself. From the looks of the trailer and the overall placement of this movie smack in the middle of summer, one can expect it to be yet another huge success for Marvel. Expect a great origin story that nicely sets up the last piece heading into next years HUGE Avengers film. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing this movie, though much like Thor I'm assuming the 3D will just be a waste of money for this one...definitely an opening night/weekend must see, though due to prior obligations ill probably have to catch this a week or 2 after its initial release

Cowboys and Aliens (Opening 7/29) I've been in at least 2 theaters where this trailer has played and people have scoffed at the name of the movie at the end. While I get that it seems like a ridiculous premise I cant help but have high hopes for this movie. I mean its a high concept collaboration (based on a graphic novel) between Jon Favreau (who has become one of the best filmmakers around today, period) and Steven Spielberg (who doesn't need and introduction) which is starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. How can anyone assume this will be a bad movie? Personally the fact that James Bond and Han Solo will be fighting aliens while dressed as cowboys is more than enough to get my full price ticket purchased. That coupled with the fact that this is really the last Big blockbuster being released this summer should give it time to earn a decent take at the box office. Definitely a must see movie for me plus they're not even trying to cash in with 3D so count me in for the midnight show...

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (opening 8/5) first it was called Caesar, then rise of the apes and now its rise of the planet of the apes...... initially it was coming out in June but then backed off and is now being released at the end of the summer in August....The promotion for the film places more emphasis of the fact that the effects are being done by WETA studios (who did the Lord of the Rings films and Avatar) than the actual film itself.....yet despite all of this, the movie looks really intriguing....its kind of shaping up like the "batman begins" of planet of the apes movies.....I'll check this out but it will probably be at a matinee, because I cant see lining up for a movie that the producers don't even seem like they're that sure will be that successful...


................well there you have it, the summer movie season in a nutshell....sure there's probably a few films that will slip under the radar and some great independent features that may make some waves but overall I think Ive addressed the larger scale films that will be fighting for your money this summer.....its a good time to be a fan of movies and hopefully ill see some of you there...but if you'll excuse me now I have to figure which of my kidneys I need to sell on the black market so I can pay for all of these tickets.... I'll see ya when I see ya folks....

The Films of Summer 2011 are Upon us: Part 1

Sooooo..... In the past, I have mentioned that I thoroughly enjoy going to the movies and would be writing about it in the future, but clearly due to the lack of that topic content on this blog, it would be right of you to say "Hey there for a second Writing Rambler, are you a dirty liar?".....short answer, yes, I am a dirty liar... but in my defense, that's just with most other things...... in regard to movies I actually do really enjoy the fine art that is cinema..... now that we've got that ugliness out of the way, lets get to some rambling....


Ahhh Summer 2011, how I have awaited thee.....After last year's dismal summer release schedule (Which if not for the 2 masterpieces of Toy Story 3 and Inception, would have probably been one of the worst ever....p.s. don't get me wrong I enjoyed Iron Man 2, Karate Kid and A-Team personally, but even with those included, 2010 was severely lacking in the summer blockbuster department) I have been really looking forward to the return of a summer full of huge blockbuster releases. By the looks of trailers and the release schedule so far, it seems like we are shaping up to see an extremely busy and fun time to be a fan of the movies. I know a lot of people complain because of rising ticket prices due to 3D and "Imax" add on fees (I put Imax in quotes because of the ever increasing "Imax" theater additions which are not actual IMAX screens, but instead just large screens with upgraded sound and camera systems....don't get me wrong, the quality is excellent but its still not the full IMAX theater experience which is still relegated to very few screens across the country.....annnnd that was one of the nerdiest tangent rants I have ever went on....which is saying a lot) and I agree with the sentiment fully, but there are always ways around going broke at the movies. My best advice, if you really want to see as many films as possible, is to take advantage of matinees!!! It seems like a no brainer but so many people ignore the fact that on weekdays most shows before 5-6pm are discounted and on the weekends most shows before noon are as well. Nonetheless, If you cant get out to all the big summer movies (and honestly even with matinees, theres so much stuff this summer that you'd probably need a home loan to take it all in) I've gone ahead and compiled a list/guide to what movies I think best deserve your hard earned money this summer. With that said...here we go (FYI this list will be in release date order so don't get your knickers in a bunch if your favorite movie isn't reviewed first):

FAST 5: (currently playing, released on 4/29) While technically a spring release, "Fast 5" definitely started this summer's big, loud movie season off in the right direction. Honestly, if you've never cared for the "Fast" series of films then this movie is probably not for you (also whats probably not for you: America, bbq's and being awesome in general). It's a movie that doesn't apologize for what it is and is a ton of fun if you let it be. Arguably the best entry in the "Fast" series, it, in a way, reinvents the franchise from a car racing theme to a heist series instead. Plus its got the Rock in it....I checked out the Imax matinee (no 3D thank the Lord above) and it was great, especially worth it for the sound system......I'm done here...go see it....

THOR: (currently playing, released on 5/6) what many people consider the true start to the summer movie season, Thor is the next superhero film in Marvel Studios lineup of blockbusters that started with Iron Man in 2008 (before you try to call me out and say there have been plenty of other Marvel films before Iron Man let me explain myself. Iron man was the first actual "Marvel Studios" film. Basically anything before it was made by others studios who licensed the characters from Marvel. Which is one of the reasons we have had numerous horrible superhero movies (cough cough Spiderman 3, X-Men 3, Daredevil..cough cough/etc)). Happily, Thor lives up to Marvel Studios standards of treating their source material with respect and also continues to set up the larger "Marvel film universe" which is leading to the Avengers film in 2012. Honestly, this could have been a very hard sell for general audiences due to the large fantasy element that Thor entails but director Kenneth Branagh did a great job blending Thor's fantasy world and the real world on screen so anyone can appreciate the story. Overall, It's a great summer movie that appeals to young and old alike. I highly recommend it.One thing I will say negatively is that I had the chance to see it in "Imax" 3D and while the movie looks and sounds great, the 3D conversion (meaning it wasn't shot in 3D, just converted in post production) is pointless and definitely not worth the extra money....

BRIDESMAIDS: (currently playing, released on 5/13) While I haven't seen it myself as of yet. I have heard nothing but positive reviews from those who have. Kristen Wiig is an exceptionally funny comedian and deserves a huge hit under her belt and hopefully she will get it from this movie. It just had a decent opening weekend where it came in 2nd place with about $25 million to Thor (in its 2nd weekend). This good start plus positive word of mouth should help its success in the long run. Ill definitely check this out and with it not being a 3d or Imax release I should be able to catch a nice matinee viewing sooner or later without breaking the bank.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES: (opens 5/20) The 4th entry in the Pirates of the Caribbean series seems like more of the same from what we've come to expect from the misadventures of Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow. It's been 4 years since the last "Pirates" film but with the exception of Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom not returning, I wouldn't expect much difference from this entry. Disney knows it has a successful franchise on its hands and will continue to produce sequels for the foreseeable future (not that that's a bad thing). These movies so far have been exciting, fun and are great viewing for the entire family and I expect no less from this entry. My opinion: I'll definitely check it out with the family at a matinee and I may cave and see it in 3D if only because it was actually shot with 3D cameras

THE HANGOVER 2: (opens 5/26) The original Hangover was such a huge success that this sequel was a no brainer. Personally, while I found the original film funny, I never quite got why so many people swear by it being one of the funniest films of all time. Honestly, this movie doesn't need much "talk up" because you already know if your gonna see it or not by now. It's gonna make a ton of money wheter or not it's just a rehashing of the first films exploits or not.... maybe I'll catch a matinee...Hey, at least it's not charging extra for "Imax" or 3D

KUNG FU PANDA 2: (opens 5/26) "Kung Fu Panda" really impressed me when I first saw it in 2008. I had written it off as an animated movie I would just deal with being forced to see because I had children and I can say I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of heart and quality that the film had. It showed that Dreamworks animation studios was intent on producing quality entertainment that could hopefully rival Pixar's dominance of the genre. Despite all this good memory, I find myself rolling my eyes at the trailers for the sequel. I honestly think its just Jack Black's personality (which has become more and more annoying with each film he makes) that's clouding my pre-judgement of this movie and hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised once again. This is definitely a matinee movie and I will be avoiding 3D if possible.

X-MEN:FIRST CLASS: (opens 6/3) ohhhhh how I want to hate you X-Men:First Class....why won't you let me hate you?!.....Normally I would be gushing about yet another superhero movie being released but I just want to despise this movie so badly.....there's several reasons for this: 1) While the X-Men are Marvel superheroes, this movie is not an actual Marvel Studios release (the rights are still owned by Fox, who due to a legal loophole get to keep the X-Men character rights as long as they keep producing X-Men films, no matter the quality) so I expect Fox to screw this movie up somehow in a rush to make a ton of money. 2) I absolutely hated what Fox did to this franchise in X-Men 3 and Wolverine (just thinking of Deadpool's butchering is making me angry right now)....3) yeah I'm still mad about Deadpool......yet despite all this anger I'm still somehow oddly intrigued by this movie. Maybe it's the fact that it looks like an origin story about Magneto and Xavier or maybe because it's being directed by Matthew Vaughn who after "Kick A$$" I fully trust with the reigns of a comic book movie....I don't know...it still makes me angry that somewhere deep down inside despite my hatred I want to see it..... I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll bite the bullet on this and be there for the midnight screening with the other nerds but I openly admit now I'm ashamed of myself for it....

SUPER 8: (opens 6/10) Here we go...the movie that I hope will wash whatever shame I have leftover from X-Men off for good...I can not wait for Super 8. While many casual moviegoers may not even know what movie this is, (other than a few vague creepy trailers so far) for film nerds (I can't stand the term cinephile....it sounds like some perv who is strangely attracted to DVDs or something) this may be the movie of the summer. Most people have no idea what the premise is other than what looks like a sci fi/alien/monster movie from the minds of JJ. Abrams and Steven Spielberg, but that alone should make you want to see this film! Add on to that the trailers, which seem to look like a throwback to earlier films like "stand by me" and "close encounters of the third kind" and you have what may be the surprise hit of the summer. Whether or not the general public will get behind this movie in a season of blockbuster after blockbuster is unknown but I have a strong feeling/hope this will be a classic in the making. I'll be there...."Imax".... Paramus....Midnight......Bill........those of you who know the deal, Ill see you there....

.... okay...I need a breather.... I realized the next movie on my list is Green Lantern and honestly I need a break before I start that one.... hopefully you've enjoyed so far.....see ya  for part 2 of this list, which should be up soon

The Beard and I: Our first anniversary

So about a year ago I decided to start growing a beard. I don't know what made me do it. It may have been me looking for a way to "re-invent" myself or possibly it was just severe depression that LOST was coming to an end, coupled with my own quiet respect for the mighty lumberjack. Who knows what possesses a man to do the things he does? What I can say is that I'm happy I have ventured over to the side of those with facial follicles a plenty. At first I was a little scared that once in full bloom I would be mistaken for some wannabe trendy hipster (a fate worse than death in my eyes) who was growing a beard because "I didn't care how people viewed me" but then I realized most hipsters wouldn't be wandering around in pajama pants and an authentic personalized Cleveland browns jersey 90% of his time (but so help me if they do start, the next place I write this blog from will be from the prison library where I'm serving time for the Jersey City hipster murders), so I just went with it. It's been a cool ride so far and I figured I'd include some pics of me and my beard & the Hijinks we've shared so far this year.


Let me start by showing me when the beard first started. Clearly I was in a sad place and only good could come from this new venture.....

....Here we are getting to meet Andy Richter.....would this have happened without my new grizzled look?...I highly doubt it.....

.....And here we are a few months in at my old job. I say my old job because my entire department was axed about 5 months into this beard project......I'm sure that had nothing to do with it (I mean showing up to work looking like a crazed hobo is always a good thing, right?)......

....Next up was our Emmy win for awesomeness in the bearded arts....

....One day I woke up and realized the beard taking on its own personality (Kinda like the Venom symbiote of beards)...most people would fear this....I just strapped in for the ride...

.....Here's the time we got elected mayor of the leprechaun parade....good times had by all....

.....sadly these good times did not last as I woke up in Mexico and had apparently become a bandito.....but that's a much different story for a much different day.....

.....after our return from Mexico we started a lounge act to pay our way back home....

......and here I am at our lowest .... I realized at this point the beard was fully in control and I needed to take some power back.....

....a few trims later and all seems to be back on track. We are sharing a fair balance of my persona at this point and I even got him a Thor crown for his first Birthday

....It's been a wild year and I cant wait to see what adventures the future holds for us both....but first as an added bonus for the blog readers here's a picture of us post shower getting ready for a night out on the town (Ohhh Lord, why did I upload this one?).....

....Well see you when we see you folks.....