Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Self Aware Red Hulk Stole My Blog....

"The Hulk is Red now", you ask? Short answer: no he's not... Red Hulk is actually General Ross...."Who's General Ross", you ask?.... Look I don't have time for this, I'm just here to ramble. If you want a quick history lesson check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thunderbolt_Ross it will give you an insight into 1/100000000000th of the useless information that exists in my brain. "Okay Then, Why are you bringing up this Red Hulk if you don't want us to ask about him?"......you know that's actually a good question, maybe you guys aren't as dumb as I imagined (ohhhh Lord, I just wrote that didn't I?.....ohh well, its not like there's a delete button on these things....Ill just have to hope you can forgive me and we can both move on from here)...Look theres really no reason for you to know who he is, I just wanted you, the reader, the handsome/beautiful, highly intelligent and well groomed (that should make up for me calling them an idiot...They're so dumb they'll probably eat it up with a spoon.....whats that? parentheses aren't thought invisibility barriers?.......ohhh boy, this is awkward....) gentleman/gentlelady that you are to have some background info..... with that said, I documented a particularly interesting phenomenon at my home the other day that I thought needed sharing.

I came home from driving my children to school to find that one of several action figures that litter my home had apparently become self aware (I say self aware because everyone knows toys cant come to life that's just silly!) .... now I won't expound on the how or why this small red symbol of destruction became self aware (I'll leave that up to the good folks at Ikea and other such centers of learning) I will simply say that upon seeing this moment of opportunity to grow the bonds of human/plastic friendship I simply grabbed my closest camera (the 8mp one found on my HTC EVO, which works quite nicely might I add....so should this ramble find its way into the hands of one of the fine hardworking people who run HTC or Google, Thanks for the fine product folks and I'd love to talk great about future products of yours in the ,well, future....:Wink:) and did what I could to document these first steps of a new frontier. Please enjoy:

So here is how I found him. perched on my Xbox 360 pounding the snot out of it. My initial reaction was "Hey!, you there!, yes you, the red fellow!...stop doing that!" (in retrospect my initial reaction should have been about a fully functional toy seemingly alive in the midst of my living room.... but I've seen a lot in my life and at this point nothing surprises me)


Surprisingly He was quite eloquent in his retort. He explained to me that upon becoming self aware he decided to explore my home and noticed that I owned a copy of Marvel Vs Capcom 3 and because he saw himself on the cover (well the truth is he saw the green hulk but I didn't have the heart to explain to him that he was different....personally I was quite moved that this small little being saw no color difference...I think we can all learn something from my new friend, the self aware red hulk) he wanted to try it out. So I told him have at it..



After a few more moments of pounding on it he figured out the Power button and was on his way (I made the snide remark, "good thing it didn't RED ring"...to which I had a good laugh, but honestly he was not amused).



He actually made it up the wire and to the controller pretty quickly if you ask me. I mean, not for nothing but he is pretty stocky, yet quite agile for his build (please don't let him know I said this, he seems to be very self conscious).


upon making it up he began pounding on the controller (apparently this is his "go to" for trying to get things to work) but after a few quick instructions from me he was able to understand how it worked


....now this was weird. He stood up on the face of the controller and began rambling about "victory was his" and something about "gangs of drugged cockroaches" (I honestly think he was just watching Gaddafi on TV before I got home and decided to use some quotes to express his joy at making it to the top of the table.....nonetheless it was a tense moment for all involved)



This was actually a beautiful moment in my eyes....as the game credits rolled he just froze in awe at the sight before him. there was a point where I thought he may have actually become inanimate again (or worse yet I had been imagining this the whole time....but there's pictures so that couldn't be true...right?...I mean there's pictures after all.....everything is fine just keep smiling and writing..)....but right when I was about to put him back in the toy box....


....it was like he was lit on fire...seeing "himself" on the screen produced so much pride in him that you couldn't help but be happy for the little guy (I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a little tear in my eye now just thinking about it)


 from there on it was smooth sailing (other then constantly having to remind him that he couldn't just punch his way to a victory... the poor controller stick took a beating, but he had fun and that's what matters most). A good time was had by all and this last picture really sums up the scope of what i think the day meant to him...


Overall, it was a pretty crazy day for me. I can't say what the future holds for the self aware red hulk and I but I can promise that I'll do my best to document any further misadventures that take place. I know this story somewhat deviates from my "normal" ramble, but I felt it was just an important moment in human history and that it needed to be shared.....with that said, I'll see ya when I see ya
                                               
                                            
                                                    
                                                                                                    
                                                            







1 comment:

  1. This was epic. I wish you were my professor lol

    ReplyDelete