I apologize in advance if I am not my usual disheveled, incoherent self in this blog, but I just felt it necessary to say my proper goodbyes in written form, so here we are. For 10 years now I have had the pleasure of thoroughly enjoying the masterpiece that is the Harry Potter series. Now I know for some, you may already be rolling your eyes at seeing the name above, and while I'd love to argue the reasons why your mistaken on your judgment of a book/movie series you have probably never read or watched, that's not why I'm writing this. I will simply say this blog is sadly not for you. Now on the other hand, for those of you who have read the books and/or watched the films I hope you can appreciate the words that follow.
I wont claim to be one of those people who have followed the series from its humble beginnings in England. I actually went to see the first movie on my own in November of 2001 after it had already been out for a few weeks just because there had been so much positive buzz about it. I liked it but my best description of it at the time was "a really good kid's movie". I thought it was a lot of fun and I looked forward to seeing a sequel. When the second movie came out I missed it while in theaters and just caught it on dvd, again I enjoyed it yet I still don't think I realized how big this series really was. By this point the first 4 books had been released and after some coaxing from others who had read the books and raved about them I figured I'd see what all the buzz was really about. The first two books were, without question, better than the films but I still viewed them as stand alone kids tales and assumed the rest would be the same. As I read the third book I started to notice and enjoy how not only were the characters in the story maturing but also so was J.K Rowling's writing. I noticed little things that she did like how the character of Sirius Black was actually mentioned in the first chapter of the first book. For the first time I realized that instead of stand alone chapters, she was actually crafting one giant story and I was now very curious to see where it was all headed. I burned through the third book and headed into to fourth which was no small feat at 734pgs (almost twice the size of the third book). Again I was met with a story that not only added page numbers but also a real maturity and depth to the tale. As I reached the epic conclusion of "Goblet of Fire" I also reached my realization of how good this series was. I actually remember the moment, it was when Cedric was killed (If this is a spoiler for you still, than you should have in no way been reading this blog entry) and Voldemort actually returns in all his evil glory. I put the book down and mouthed something to the equivalent of "whoa...$*** just got real". Right there I knew there was no turning back, I was completely and utterly hooked. Gone were the thoughts that I was following along with this children's series and in its place was the understanding that I was now reading a future classic while it was happening.
Going forward I was a junkie for all things HP. I was there at midnight when the new books and movies were released and without exaggeration I consumed each new book within about 24hrs of their release (including the massive 870pg Order of the Phoenix). These weren't just normal books anymore, they were an epic tale of good vs evil in the same manner as Lord of The Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia. These were something that would be passed on from generation to generation and I could not be happier to have been able to experience it as it occurred. As the books came to an Epic finale I was sad that they were done but I always told myself "At least we still have the movies to look forward too".... with that said, I and many others like me find themselves 24hrs away from the actual end of it all, and though sad to see it all end I can look back with fond memories on the numerous nights at the movies and discussions with friends and family.
In a time where entertainment (and in many ways the world as a whole) has become mostly recycled old ideas or the most horrid forms of dumbed down "reality" programming, The Harry Potter series has always shined in its ability to be a story that teaches just why ideas like morality, honesty, friendship and love are still very relevant and important things. It shows how that despite the horrors evil can bring about, it is simply never a match for the resolve of people who chose to do whats right even if sacrifice is needed for it to happen. These are values that I hold dear and to see them be included in a hugely successful book and movie franchise is something that should be applauded.
To close, I'll say that as far as the movies go, I could nitpick about little nerdy things but overall it is very impressive to see a major film franchise stay well made and keep the same cast for over 8 movies in 10 years. It is likely a feet we will never seen done again. So to all those involved with the books and movie I simply say thanks for the memories and I look forward to one last time tomorrow night......
Ill see ya when I see ya folks
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
How goes it my old friends?
Hey there intertubes...ohh how I have been neglecting you!....Well, not really the web itself but all of you wonderfully fantastic readers are who I've actually been neglecting .....You have my sincerest apologies.... I think my last rant about the Green Lantern movie took the juice out of me but here I am attempting to make amends for my wrongs....So lets see, whats new you may ask?....Same old same old for the most part, though I have ventured into some more of the literary arts (or maybe it would be considered my defiling of the literary arts...I'll leave that for you to decide)... I recently started the undertaking of writing up some weekly comic book reviews for www.aintitcool.com , one of the best places you can find news about TV,Movies,Books and pretty much all things geek within this horrible filthy place we call the Internet.....so stop by and check out the comic reviews every Wednesday... theres always a ton of great stuff to read.....okay enough shameless self promotion..."But what about us", you say? Don't worry my rambling here will remain my first love...
I have another topic specific blog or 5 coming up but I wanted to just throw out some bullet points for some stuff I may have missed while I was off wandering the abyss (a.k.a asleep on my couch).... so here we go in completely schizophrenic order....
- Saw Transformers 3....not much to say because by now I assume almost all of you have seen it as it made 80 bajillion dollars (actual amount) over the past 2 weeks.... It's a fun, leave your brain at the door movie....Summer needs those type of movies....would I have liked it to be better? Of course I would (I personally would have wanted a shot for shot remake of the old animated movie but clearly that isnt going to happen) but by now I know my expectations for a Michael Bay movie and honestly it was better than I thought it would be.... also it was the first movie since Avatar that didnt make me regret paying to see it in Imax 3D...soo good for them...they have my approval
- Went to the beach one day...hid from the sun....did'nt burst into flames...strange little kid asked me to build a sand castle with him....I chose to walk away because I'm fully aware that the sight of me building a sandcastle with a small child who has no relation to me is a McGruff the crimedog commercial on keeping away from starangers waiting to happen....also got jelly fish goo in my beard that day....all in all a pretty good day if you ask me
- For anyone who watches wrestling...what C.M. Punk is doing on the microphone each week is honestly a gift to fans so enjoy it before one of the writers in the back thouroughly screws up the storyline
- I got to finally go eat at Bobby's Burger Palace.....my Lord is that place good
- Just saw that Rango comes out on dvd/blu ray on 7/15....seriously an awesome animated film that didnt get nearly as much love as it should have....definitely give it a try
- dont take 2 Advil PM's and then remember you need to write your next blogzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzhuh what?.....okay I'm back
With all that said I'm glad to be back here spewing my own brand of word vomit and I'm even gladder (thats clearly not a word) that your here with me.......
P.S. I decided to up my ante with the blog and combine my twitter feed with this same wonderful name so feel free to ramble right back at me on Twitter @Writing_Rambler
See ya when I see ya folks
I have another topic specific blog or 5 coming up but I wanted to just throw out some bullet points for some stuff I may have missed while I was off wandering the abyss (a.k.a asleep on my couch).... so here we go in completely schizophrenic order....
- Saw Transformers 3....not much to say because by now I assume almost all of you have seen it as it made 80 bajillion dollars (actual amount) over the past 2 weeks.... It's a fun, leave your brain at the door movie....Summer needs those type of movies....would I have liked it to be better? Of course I would (I personally would have wanted a shot for shot remake of the old animated movie but clearly that isnt going to happen) but by now I know my expectations for a Michael Bay movie and honestly it was better than I thought it would be.... also it was the first movie since Avatar that didnt make me regret paying to see it in Imax 3D...soo good for them...they have my approval
- Went to the beach one day...hid from the sun....did'nt burst into flames...strange little kid asked me to build a sand castle with him....I chose to walk away because I'm fully aware that the sight of me building a sandcastle with a small child who has no relation to me is a McGruff the crimedog commercial on keeping away from starangers waiting to happen....also got jelly fish goo in my beard that day....all in all a pretty good day if you ask me
- For anyone who watches wrestling...what C.M. Punk is doing on the microphone each week is honestly a gift to fans so enjoy it before one of the writers in the back thouroughly screws up the storyline
- I got to finally go eat at Bobby's Burger Palace.....my Lord is that place good
- Just saw that Rango comes out on dvd/blu ray on 7/15....seriously an awesome animated film that didnt get nearly as much love as it should have....definitely give it a try
- dont take 2 Advil PM's and then remember you need to write your next blogzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzhuh what?.....okay I'm back
With all that said I'm glad to be back here spewing my own brand of word vomit and I'm even gladder (thats clearly not a word) that your here with me.......
P.S. I decided to up my ante with the blog and combine my twitter feed with this same wonderful name so feel free to ramble right back at me on Twitter @Writing_Rambler
See ya when I see ya folks
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Why Green Lantern may have been the worst superhero movie ever...in way more than 10 minutes
So I've had several days to wallow in my own misery and I figured its time to share some of that sadness with you fine folks. The misery I speak of, is of course, the train wreck that was the Green lantern movie. I went through several thought processes on just if and how I should voice my opinion of this film. The first was the "sweep it under the rug" approach where I'd just pretend it never happened and hope you guys didn't notice. That wouldn't be fair though, as I wasted your time in past blogs (for those of you who put up with my nonsense) explaining why Green Lantern matters and why you should go see it. The second approach was the "fly to California and burn down Warner Bros studios" approach, which personally I feel is much more effective and to the point, but then I remembered that Conan works on the WB lot and that wouldn't be fair to him....plus I didn't really have "fly to California to commit arson money" just lying around. So after much deliberation in my brain I figured it would be best to just air my grievances here and let people know what I thought. I'm gonna be all over the place with this review/complaint/breakdown of the movie (but the movie was all over the place too so I feel this is only fair).... Also, I will be ranting about and including numerous SPOILERS of the movie so should you still want to experience this horrid wreck of a film yourself, be forewarned......so without further adieu ( shout out to my native Spanish speakers) here we go:
- Okay first I'm going to say something nice. I didn't have a problem with the casting in this film. Many people complained but I felt Ryan Reynolds was just fine as Hal Jordan. Throughout all of the problems I had with the film I honestly felt he cared about the part he was playing and only worked with what he was given. You can really ask no more of him here. This goes for the supporting cast as well. Everyone played their parts well enough (especially Mark Strong who brought Sinestro to the big screen perfectly) and they shouldn't be blamed for this future Razzie winner.
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- Second, this movie is one of the most clear examples of corporate tinkering I have ever seen. It seriously reeks of a room full of executives who would say things like "cant we make him save the girl, Superman would save the girl" (theres actually a line in the movie where a character says to Ryan Reynolds, "but the superhero's always get the girl" which prompts pretty much a carbon copy scene from older Superman movies on a balcony) or "lets not show too much outer space stuff because marketing research shows that the 18-35 yr old demographic prefers action over sci fi". It was just clearly a movie that started off as a great idea and then was taken over by people who had no clue/care what they were doing.
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-Third, I've read that the script had at least 4 screenwriters....and boy did it show. At times it was like watching 2 or more different movies.I mean honestly if the movie was about a bipolar superhero than it should probably win an Oscar, but being that I personally have a good knowledge of the Green Lantern Mythos I'd say they missed the mark.The movie couldn't decide if it was a love story, space epic or some weird version of a superhero movie mixed with "The Fly".
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- Fourth, I love Angela basset and when I read that she would be playing the role of Amanda Waller I had a little nerd party in my heart. Amanda Waller, for those not in the know (or just those of you with real lives who don't bother with these things), is basically a government agent that is a major player in the DC Universe. Most people (myself included) assumed her inclusion in this movie was the start of something bigger in scale (think Samuel L Jackson's appearances as Nick Fury in the Iron Man/Thor movies) that would eventually lead to a huge Justice League/DC Universe "Event" movie. Boy, was this assumption wrong as her character is actually limited to a few lines and shes pretty much made to be a side character (who gets thrown into glass and beaten senseless seemingly left for dead) and nothing more. Her character and the idea of a larger DC film universe may have been the biggest wasted opportunity in a film full of them. DC has the advantage of having all of their properties owned by Warner Bros. so the idea of a full movie with characters like Superman, Batman, Green Lantern,etc is a real possibility as opposed to Marvel who has licensed many of their major properties (Spiderman/X-Men/Fantastic Four/Ghost Rider/Daredevil) away. Yet here we are one year away from Marvel's huge Avenger film that they have perfectly built up (even with a limited roster) over the past few years and WB still pretty much only has "The Dark Knight Rises" and "The Man of Steel" Superman reboot on its horizons (side note: including those 2 films there have been a total of 6 Superman and 7 Batman live action movies over the past 30+ years). Sadly, with the failure that Green Lantern is turning out to be both creatively and financially it doesn't look like the DC movie Universe will be expanding anytime soon.
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-Fifth, I am a firm believer that in storytelling a hero is only as strong as their villain and this movie is severely lacking in the villain department. Often the best developed and most complex character, the villain is usually one of the best written/strongest characters in a story (i.e the Joker in "The Dark Knight", Agent Smith in "The Matrix", Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter series and the crossing guards in my neighborhood to name a few). Instead what we get here are basically 2 villains, neither of which really deserve the title. The first, more basic of the 2 is Hector Hammond (played by Peter Sarsgard). While I didn't really hate his character , there really wasn't much too him at all ( besides way too many awkward screams of pain that he let out (see the above pic)...I actually think he screamed more than he had lines). The filmmakers tried ( I think?) to make Hector's story be an evil version of Hal's story (living in his father's shadow, gained power from an alien, both assumingly after the same girl). It was basically the really horrible job they did with Eddie Brock/Venom in Spiderman 3 but with Hector Hammond instead. The second villain and a really horrible choice for an origin movie is Parallax. Now I know things cant always be based exactly as it was in the source material, but this was pretty bad. I'd love to give a quick synopsis of Parallax's character from the source material but honestly its just way too complex. The best I can say is Parallax was never written as a giant talking cloud that eats souls ( that is what it was doing right?). The Parallax that fans know and love to hate is literally the manifestation of fear in a celestial form ( pretty sure I've lost whoever of you were still here with that last sentence). Its a character that cant really be beaten and throughout time in the books has come to posses members of the green lantern corps and caused them to do horrible things (including causing Hal Jordan to become a villain himself). Its a villain that could have and probably should have been explored over 2 or 3 films. But its not like that has ever worked before (cough, cough, Sauron) so I guess I understand (cough, cough, Lord of the Rings) why they didn't do that. My Final thought on this subject is the way the villains were disposed of. The first was Hector Hammond being eaten (?) by Parallax and having his skeleton fall to the ground so we know he was dead even though any other character that was consumed by Parallax in the movie was dissolved whole and left behind no skeleton. So they basically made him the villain and before his character even really did anything he gets eaten by the bigger villain...got all that?...Good, I didn't either. Next up was Parallax's death (?). So lets backtrack, we've got Parallax...total embodiment of fear...has corrupted a guardian of the universe (this is slightly explained in the movie)... was able to dispose of several of the best green lanterns in the corp without blinking earlier in the film.... has the entire green lantern corp ( a army of 3600 of the universes greatest warriors) in an uproar because they have no clue how to defeat him.... and how is he defeated?.... ohh that's right, the main character of Hal Jordan (who by the end of the film has never really gone through formal training because he quit and has never fully learned how to use his powers) starts to believe in himself and by the power of self assurance punches it in the face causing it to fall into the sun and die....................................................................!@$%&()(*^$#$%&? you say?............yeah that was my reaction too.
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- fifth part 2, (for fellow GL nerds only).... why not just use the character of Atrocitus as the main villain? It would have worked perfectly as a stepping stone to larger things and could have better explained Abin Sur's (the alien who died and gave Hal his ring) death. It also would have set up the introduction of the Red Lantern Corps for any possible future installments properly. Wishful thinking on my part perhaps.
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-6th, this movie more than any other I can remember in recent memory used its trailers to lie to the audience blatantly. There was one trailer in November of 2010 that was released that somewhat focused on Ryan Reynolds ability to be a smarta$$ more than anything else. The trailer was met with anger from the nerd community and general indifference from normal moviegoers. This "outcry" prompted the WB marketing team to say that they had not finished many special effects shots and that's why so much of the trailer focused on Hal Jordan doing things on earth. They went ahead further and silenced most naysayers in late March/early April (In retrospect maybe this whole movie was one giant ongoing April fools joke...and if that is the case then I think it was a masterpiece) when they released a 4 minute trailer (compiled from a 10 minute Wondercon trailer presentation) focusing on the Green Lantern Corps as a whole. This trailer was EPIC in nature. It presented the idea that this was going to be a large scale "Star Wars" like movie that would be based around a huge outer space battle between the Green Lantern Corps and Parallax. They even took the time to have quick shots of numerous corp members (some of which only the most studied Fanboy would know). Fans of the comic were back on board. I was back on board. From that point on, every trailer focused on this idea of a movie about aliens and outer space and how a human was joining these aliens to battle evil. There was only one problem upon seeing this movie. The 10- 15 minutes shown in the previews with the aliens and outer space are the only moments in the film! A good 90% of the movie takes place on earth and is mostly scenes of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively talking. I consider myself a pretty street smart person who doesn't get fooled that often but I must admit you win this round WB marketing team. You did a good job (that includes putting a legal embargo on reviews for this movie until the day before it was released to keep people from hearing how bad it was) pretending what this movie would be and I applaud you for that at least.
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- Seventh How the !@#$% did this movie cost upwards of $300 million (150 for the film and about 150 on marketing) to make?!...... Now I'll be the first to admit, the scenes that took place in space were good but there was not enough of them to justify a budget that huge.... It just seemed like no one creating this film knew what they were doing and they burned through money trying to fix it (apparently with 2 months left to release WB sunk another 9 million on visual effects into this movie...I cant even imagine what it may have been like minus that 9 million)......On a side note, 2 weeks ago I had the pleasure of seeing Super 8, which while not as cgi heavy as Green Lantern, only cost $50 million to make....a perfect example of high cost does not equal high quality
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- 8th, so this may have been my biggest pet peeve of the movie and I only noticed it because I am a huge nerd when it comes to noticing small insignificant things. Basically with a few minutes left to the movie (roughly the 98 minute mark....yup that observant) Sinestro addresses the corps one final time then raises his arms and the corps members shoot their lights into the sky as the camera pulls away and you see the light coming from the planet OA. Its a great scene but there was only one problem, it already happened in the movie! At the (roughly) 45 minute mark this scene happens for the first time....they literally replayed that clip to save $!!!!!!!!............now I know what your thinking.....that I'm really obsessively picking on this scene and they were just trying to be "cost effective"....but I haven't gotten to the best part yet....some of the Green Lanterns that are included in this copy and paste scene have already been killed (or told to us as killed by Sinestro) by Parallax halfway through the movie.....................I....I'm just done here
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- Finally, I cannot finish this therapy session for myself without mentioning the scene that happens post/mid credits..........its a scene most Green Lantern fans have seemingly been waiting a lifetime to see,....Sinestro turning evil and putting on the yellow ring and becoming a yellow lantern, setting up a sequel where he will be the main villain................................ Just a little back story, I love Sinestro...He's arguably my favorite character/villain in the entire DC Universe.... He's cunning, powerful, and believes so much in his cause that you almost want to see him as right despite his evil ways....So to see him in all his yellow glory should have been a dream come true...Unfortunately, it was a nightmare. They took one of the most significant moments in the Green Lantern storyline and reduced it to a cheap post credits scene (The complete opposite of what Marvel has been doing by setting up future sequels perfectly). This scene and Sinestro's entire fall to "the dark side" should have been something an entire movie was based on but instead it was wasted on something half the audience didn't see because they had already had left the theater when it ended.
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I've read other fans say that the movie was great and not that bad. I've read some people say that even if its bad that no real fan would tell people to not see this movie. Both of those arguments are completely delusional to me. The fact is, we were given a terrible movie based on a very good story. There were hints at what could have been a phenomenal film and a launching point for DC's larger future in the movie industry but overall there was just too much bad parts to pretend its worth seeing. The best advice I can give is one that the movie gave itself. If you stay all the way till the end of the credits there was a screen that came up advertising the Green Lantern trade paperbacks (volumed versions of the comics) and encouraging the audience to read the comics. I like to think that someone involved with the film who knew how bad it was but loves the stories threw that in as a way of saying "I know this sucked but I swear Green Lantern itself is really good". So if you (assuming anyone made it this far into my nonsense) can take one thing from this whole experience its something I learned a very long time ago......The book is ALWAYS better than the movie..... Ill see ya when I see ya folks
- Okay first I'm going to say something nice. I didn't have a problem with the casting in this film. Many people complained but I felt Ryan Reynolds was just fine as Hal Jordan. Throughout all of the problems I had with the film I honestly felt he cared about the part he was playing and only worked with what he was given. You can really ask no more of him here. This goes for the supporting cast as well. Everyone played their parts well enough (especially Mark Strong who brought Sinestro to the big screen perfectly) and they shouldn't be blamed for this future Razzie winner.
- Second, this movie is one of the most clear examples of corporate tinkering I have ever seen. It seriously reeks of a room full of executives who would say things like "cant we make him save the girl, Superman would save the girl" (theres actually a line in the movie where a character says to Ryan Reynolds, "but the superhero's always get the girl" which prompts pretty much a carbon copy scene from older Superman movies on a balcony) or "lets not show too much outer space stuff because marketing research shows that the 18-35 yr old demographic prefers action over sci fi". It was just clearly a movie that started off as a great idea and then was taken over by people who had no clue/care what they were doing.
-Third, I've read that the script had at least 4 screenwriters....and boy did it show. At times it was like watching 2 or more different movies.I mean honestly if the movie was about a bipolar superhero than it should probably win an Oscar, but being that I personally have a good knowledge of the Green Lantern Mythos I'd say they missed the mark.The movie couldn't decide if it was a love story, space epic or some weird version of a superhero movie mixed with "The Fly".
- Fourth, I love Angela basset and when I read that she would be playing the role of Amanda Waller I had a little nerd party in my heart. Amanda Waller, for those not in the know (or just those of you with real lives who don't bother with these things), is basically a government agent that is a major player in the DC Universe. Most people (myself included) assumed her inclusion in this movie was the start of something bigger in scale (think Samuel L Jackson's appearances as Nick Fury in the Iron Man/Thor movies) that would eventually lead to a huge Justice League/DC Universe "Event" movie. Boy, was this assumption wrong as her character is actually limited to a few lines and shes pretty much made to be a side character (who gets thrown into glass and beaten senseless seemingly left for dead) and nothing more. Her character and the idea of a larger DC film universe may have been the biggest wasted opportunity in a film full of them. DC has the advantage of having all of their properties owned by Warner Bros. so the idea of a full movie with characters like Superman, Batman, Green Lantern,etc is a real possibility as opposed to Marvel who has licensed many of their major properties (Spiderman/X-Men/Fantastic Four/Ghost Rider/Daredevil) away. Yet here we are one year away from Marvel's huge Avenger film that they have perfectly built up (even with a limited roster) over the past few years and WB still pretty much only has "The Dark Knight Rises" and "The Man of Steel" Superman reboot on its horizons (side note: including those 2 films there have been a total of 6 Superman and 7 Batman live action movies over the past 30+ years). Sadly, with the failure that Green Lantern is turning out to be both creatively and financially it doesn't look like the DC movie Universe will be expanding anytime soon.
-Fifth, I am a firm believer that in storytelling a hero is only as strong as their villain and this movie is severely lacking in the villain department. Often the best developed and most complex character, the villain is usually one of the best written/strongest characters in a story (i.e the Joker in "The Dark Knight", Agent Smith in "The Matrix", Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter series and the crossing guards in my neighborhood to name a few). Instead what we get here are basically 2 villains, neither of which really deserve the title. The first, more basic of the 2 is Hector Hammond (played by Peter Sarsgard). While I didn't really hate his character , there really wasn't much too him at all ( besides way too many awkward screams of pain that he let out (see the above pic)...I actually think he screamed more than he had lines). The filmmakers tried ( I think?) to make Hector's story be an evil version of Hal's story (living in his father's shadow, gained power from an alien, both assumingly after the same girl). It was basically the really horrible job they did with Eddie Brock/Venom in Spiderman 3 but with Hector Hammond instead. The second villain and a really horrible choice for an origin movie is Parallax. Now I know things cant always be based exactly as it was in the source material, but this was pretty bad. I'd love to give a quick synopsis of Parallax's character from the source material but honestly its just way too complex. The best I can say is Parallax was never written as a giant talking cloud that eats souls ( that is what it was doing right?). The Parallax that fans know and love to hate is literally the manifestation of fear in a celestial form ( pretty sure I've lost whoever of you were still here with that last sentence). Its a character that cant really be beaten and throughout time in the books has come to posses members of the green lantern corps and caused them to do horrible things (including causing Hal Jordan to become a villain himself). Its a villain that could have and probably should have been explored over 2 or 3 films. But its not like that has ever worked before (cough, cough, Sauron) so I guess I understand (cough, cough, Lord of the Rings) why they didn't do that. My Final thought on this subject is the way the villains were disposed of. The first was Hector Hammond being eaten (?) by Parallax and having his skeleton fall to the ground so we know he was dead even though any other character that was consumed by Parallax in the movie was dissolved whole and left behind no skeleton. So they basically made him the villain and before his character even really did anything he gets eaten by the bigger villain...got all that?...Good, I didn't either. Next up was Parallax's death (?). So lets backtrack, we've got Parallax...total embodiment of fear...has corrupted a guardian of the universe (this is slightly explained in the movie)... was able to dispose of several of the best green lanterns in the corp without blinking earlier in the film.... has the entire green lantern corp ( a army of 3600 of the universes greatest warriors) in an uproar because they have no clue how to defeat him.... and how is he defeated?.... ohh that's right, the main character of Hal Jordan (who by the end of the film has never really gone through formal training because he quit and has never fully learned how to use his powers) starts to believe in himself and by the power of self assurance punches it in the face causing it to fall into the sun and die....................................................................!@$%&()(*^$#$%&? you say?............yeah that was my reaction too.
- fifth part 2, (for fellow GL nerds only).... why not just use the character of Atrocitus as the main villain? It would have worked perfectly as a stepping stone to larger things and could have better explained Abin Sur's (the alien who died and gave Hal his ring) death. It also would have set up the introduction of the Red Lantern Corps for any possible future installments properly. Wishful thinking on my part perhaps.
-6th, this movie more than any other I can remember in recent memory used its trailers to lie to the audience blatantly. There was one trailer in November of 2010 that was released that somewhat focused on Ryan Reynolds ability to be a smarta$$ more than anything else. The trailer was met with anger from the nerd community and general indifference from normal moviegoers. This "outcry" prompted the WB marketing team to say that they had not finished many special effects shots and that's why so much of the trailer focused on Hal Jordan doing things on earth. They went ahead further and silenced most naysayers in late March/early April (In retrospect maybe this whole movie was one giant ongoing April fools joke...and if that is the case then I think it was a masterpiece) when they released a 4 minute trailer (compiled from a 10 minute Wondercon trailer presentation) focusing on the Green Lantern Corps as a whole. This trailer was EPIC in nature. It presented the idea that this was going to be a large scale "Star Wars" like movie that would be based around a huge outer space battle between the Green Lantern Corps and Parallax. They even took the time to have quick shots of numerous corp members (some of which only the most studied Fanboy would know). Fans of the comic were back on board. I was back on board. From that point on, every trailer focused on this idea of a movie about aliens and outer space and how a human was joining these aliens to battle evil. There was only one problem upon seeing this movie. The 10- 15 minutes shown in the previews with the aliens and outer space are the only moments in the film! A good 90% of the movie takes place on earth and is mostly scenes of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively talking. I consider myself a pretty street smart person who doesn't get fooled that often but I must admit you win this round WB marketing team. You did a good job (that includes putting a legal embargo on reviews for this movie until the day before it was released to keep people from hearing how bad it was) pretending what this movie would be and I applaud you for that at least.
- Seventh How the !@#$% did this movie cost upwards of $300 million (150 for the film and about 150 on marketing) to make?!...... Now I'll be the first to admit, the scenes that took place in space were good but there was not enough of them to justify a budget that huge.... It just seemed like no one creating this film knew what they were doing and they burned through money trying to fix it (apparently with 2 months left to release WB sunk another 9 million on visual effects into this movie...I cant even imagine what it may have been like minus that 9 million)......On a side note, 2 weeks ago I had the pleasure of seeing Super 8, which while not as cgi heavy as Green Lantern, only cost $50 million to make....a perfect example of high cost does not equal high quality
- 8th, so this may have been my biggest pet peeve of the movie and I only noticed it because I am a huge nerd when it comes to noticing small insignificant things. Basically with a few minutes left to the movie (roughly the 98 minute mark....yup that observant) Sinestro addresses the corps one final time then raises his arms and the corps members shoot their lights into the sky as the camera pulls away and you see the light coming from the planet OA. Its a great scene but there was only one problem, it already happened in the movie! At the (roughly) 45 minute mark this scene happens for the first time....they literally replayed that clip to save $!!!!!!!!............now I know what your thinking.....that I'm really obsessively picking on this scene and they were just trying to be "cost effective"....but I haven't gotten to the best part yet....some of the Green Lanterns that are included in this copy and paste scene have already been killed (or told to us as killed by Sinestro) by Parallax halfway through the movie.....................I....I'm just done here
- Finally, I cannot finish this therapy session for myself without mentioning the scene that happens post/mid credits..........its a scene most Green Lantern fans have seemingly been waiting a lifetime to see,....Sinestro turning evil and putting on the yellow ring and becoming a yellow lantern, setting up a sequel where he will be the main villain................................ Just a little back story, I love Sinestro...He's arguably my favorite character/villain in the entire DC Universe.... He's cunning, powerful, and believes so much in his cause that you almost want to see him as right despite his evil ways....So to see him in all his yellow glory should have been a dream come true...Unfortunately, it was a nightmare. They took one of the most significant moments in the Green Lantern storyline and reduced it to a cheap post credits scene (The complete opposite of what Marvel has been doing by setting up future sequels perfectly). This scene and Sinestro's entire fall to "the dark side" should have been something an entire movie was based on but instead it was wasted on something half the audience didn't see because they had already had left the theater when it ended.
I've read other fans say that the movie was great and not that bad. I've read some people say that even if its bad that no real fan would tell people to not see this movie. Both of those arguments are completely delusional to me. The fact is, we were given a terrible movie based on a very good story. There were hints at what could have been a phenomenal film and a launching point for DC's larger future in the movie industry but overall there was just too much bad parts to pretend its worth seeing. The best advice I can give is one that the movie gave itself. If you stay all the way till the end of the credits there was a screen that came up advertising the Green Lantern trade paperbacks (volumed versions of the comics) and encouraging the audience to read the comics. I like to think that someone involved with the film who knew how bad it was but loves the stories threw that in as a way of saying "I know this sucked but I swear Green Lantern itself is really good". So if you (assuming anyone made it this far into my nonsense) can take one thing from this whole experience its something I learned a very long time ago......The book is ALWAYS better than the movie..... Ill see ya when I see ya folks
Saturday, May 28, 2011
I Kraine.. You Kraine..We all Kraine for Ukraine!!!
Hola, my wonderful readers (thought I'd get us started with some German just to jazz up the mood), I hope everyone is doing well. Ive been (poorly) writing this blog for 5 months now and after checking my overall stats about how many hits/readers I've had here, etc. I noticed something pretty interesting, besides the U.S. where the majority of my readers are located, the second largest group is actually from the Ukraine! I think this is awesome and I happily embrace my new found celebrity amongst the noble people of the Ukraine. A big "Thank You" to all who have checked out the utterly idiotic things that I spew from my fingertips every so often, I truly feel honored.
Now I won't pretend that I am a master of all things Ukrainian, but I vow that because of your wonderful people's loyal readership (or one weird guy who just refreshes a lot in the Ukraine) I will do the best I can to learn of the magical land that is the Ukraine. I found some interesting info to start, at this link here http://bestofukraine.com/culture/interesting-facts.html . My personal favorite fact being "The heaviest silver coin in the world is a Ukrainian anniversary coin "10 years of hryvnia revival". Its weight is 1000 grams. It was issued in Ukraine in 2006"....(who'd have thunk it!...not me, I'll tell you that....I always assumed the world's heaviest coin would have been filled with chocolate...but hey, you live, you learn).
Another awesome thing I learned about the Ukraine is some of the famous people who have roots in "The U" (as I like to now affectionately call it.... I would have went with the UK but the English had to steal that too....just like my ancestor's potatoes...grrrrrr). Though they have produced numerous scientists, philosophers, writers and artists, some of the most famous names Americans such as myself would know include Milla Jovovich, Mila Kunis, Jack Palance and Alex Trebek. Now personally, the fact that Palance (one of the toughest hombres (the German word for "fighting gentleman") that ever lived) and Trebek (The smartest man alive) are native sons of this fine land should tell the world that "The U" is a place of kings and I hope all of my readers will also develop a high respect and love for all things Ukrainian.
With that said...I'm off to learn more about my new friends in "The U". I would leave you with my customary "ill see you when i see you folks" in Ukrainian... but sadly at this point I've only learned http://www.omniglot.com/soundfiles/ukrainian/slowly1_uk.mp3 (which translates to "please speak more slowly")....now off to learn their national anthem.... adios! (see I didn't forget about you, Germans)
p.s. as a bonus I have included this picture (now I know that Petrovic was Croatian....but it just so happens that the Croatians and the Ukrainians began formal relations in 1992 and this is a 1992 Petrovic Nets jersey....so clearly it all works out!!!)
Now I won't pretend that I am a master of all things Ukrainian, but I vow that because of your wonderful people's loyal readership (or one weird guy who just refreshes a lot in the Ukraine) I will do the best I can to learn of the magical land that is the Ukraine. I found some interesting info to start, at this link here http://bestofukraine.com/culture/interesting-facts.html . My personal favorite fact being "The heaviest silver coin in the world is a Ukrainian anniversary coin "10 years of hryvnia revival". Its weight is 1000 grams. It was issued in Ukraine in 2006"....(who'd have thunk it!...not me, I'll tell you that....I always assumed the world's heaviest coin would have been filled with chocolate...but hey, you live, you learn).
Another awesome thing I learned about the Ukraine is some of the famous people who have roots in "The U" (as I like to now affectionately call it.... I would have went with the UK but the English had to steal that too....just like my ancestor's potatoes...grrrrrr). Though they have produced numerous scientists, philosophers, writers and artists, some of the most famous names Americans such as myself would know include Milla Jovovich, Mila Kunis, Jack Palance and Alex Trebek. Now personally, the fact that Palance (one of the toughest hombres (the German word for "fighting gentleman") that ever lived) and Trebek (The smartest man alive) are native sons of this fine land should tell the world that "The U" is a place of kings and I hope all of my readers will also develop a high respect and love for all things Ukrainian.
With that said...I'm off to learn more about my new friends in "The U". I would leave you with my customary "ill see you when i see you folks" in Ukrainian... but sadly at this point I've only learned http://www.omniglot.com/soundfiles/ukrainian/slowly1_uk.mp3 (which translates to "please speak more slowly")....now off to learn their national anthem.... adios! (see I didn't forget about you, Germans)
p.s. as a bonus I have included this picture (now I know that Petrovic was Croatian....but it just so happens that the Croatians and the Ukrainians began formal relations in 1992 and this is a 1992 Petrovic Nets jersey....so clearly it all works out!!!)
Monday, May 16, 2011
The Films of Summer 2011 are Upon Us: Part 2
...okay here we go...round 2....I'm all jacked up on Rockstar and white cheddar popcorn so this should be a breeze....
GREEN LANTERN: (opens 6/17) for those of you who read my nonsense when I sporadically post it, you may recall in the past me referring to green lantern as my personal "most important" film of the summer. For me, seeing this movie actually coming to fruition is like a dream come true. As a kid I grew up loving comics and superhero's in general (Batman till this day being my personal favorite) but I always liked the green lantern (GL) story, and for some reason the character of Sinestro was always a personal favorite of mine(hopefully this film and future sequels will show you why). GL was something much different than the usual "lone hero" story. It was grand, more sci fi in nature. It always touched upon the idea that there was something bigger out there, that life wasn't just a series of random events that happen but instead there was a larger universe and plan at hand. As I got older I fell out of the loop as so many do and I lost touch with the stories in general but that all changed a few years ago when some friends reintroduced me to the character and gave me some books chronicling the major "events" the stories have taken on over the years. I was instantly hooked. Reading the past several years of GL titles (which have for the most part been masterfully helmed by Geoff Johns) has been, in my opinion, what people in 77 must have felt like watching Star Wars for the first time. With all that said this is where my excitement for the movie comes in. Part of me thinks theres no way this movie could live up to the source material, but the fact that its being made is hope enough. The first trailer for the movie didn't look great, but since then the film looks like it has some potential. As more information has come out about the film it looks like GL fans may actually get the huge sci fi film we have been hoping for. It really could go either way at this point but if its successful I look forward to what the future holds for this franchise (especially knowing how Epic the sequel stories could be). Without question I will be there opening night as I would only want to see this movie with other people who could recite the GL oath verbatim off the top of their head.....Go see it...opening weekend...see it in 3D, 4D or 5D....Just do it
Cars 2: (opening 6/24) perfection is a rare thing, but in the case of Pixar feature animation it is a reality. At this point they have produced 11 beautiful, well rounded and beloved films. These films have far surpassed numerous live features that have come out in the same time frame and you have to believe that they know what they are doing going into this summer's "Cars 2". A lot of people say that the original Cars was one of the lesser Pixar films but I thought it was a great story that further displayed their gifts as filmmakers. With all that said I have to admit I still find myself wondering if they're gonna go 12-0 with this movie. The first trailer made me roll my eyes to no end (pretty much what I was saying earlier about Jack Black's level of annoying but x1000 for Larry the Cable Guy) and I think many people expect this to be the first time Pixar "drops the ball". Nonetheless, this is Pixar....I'm sure they know what they are doing and I hope to be pleasantly surprised by what they do with this sequel...This will be a matinee for The family and I but I still wouldn't miss it in theaters.
Transformers : Dark of The Moon (opening 7/1) The first thing I thought when I saw the subtitle to this film was "really, they couldn't just pay Pink Floyd for the right to include the word side"?......after I got past the name my second thought was "at least it can't be worse than part 2" ....don't get me wrong, I paid to see part 2 in Imax so I understand and accept that I am part of the problem...and while there were some redeeming qualities (despite all the wrongs, they have just got Optimus Prime's persona so right) overall the second film was horrible on so many levels (The insanely racist twin robots and the constant toilet humor being my 2 least favorite aspects). Seeing the most recent trailers actually made me think they may have learned some lessons from the second film. I've read interviews with cast members who have openly admitted they messed up the second film so I guess that gives me some hope for this one. All in all, whether you like it or not, Transformers 3 is exactly what summer movies are supposed to be and for that reason I'll be there for the midnight Imax 3D showing....
Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows part 2: (opening 7/15) as much as I would love to write pages about my feelings toward this film there's really nothing that needs to be said. Your either excited about going to see this or your not. For many people it is the close to a series that they grew up with. Over a decades worth of love towards a series that will live on as a classic for generations. Get there early, enjoy the world J.K. Rowling created one last time with friends....and honestly bring a box of tissues because your probably going to need them.
Captain America (Opening 7/22) Marvel Studios 2nd entry (the first being Thor) in this summer's cornucopia of blockbusters is none other than the Star Spangled Superhero himself. From the looks of the trailer and the overall placement of this movie smack in the middle of summer, one can expect it to be yet another huge success for Marvel. Expect a great origin story that nicely sets up the last piece heading into next years HUGE Avengers film. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing this movie, though much like Thor I'm assuming the 3D will just be a waste of money for this one...definitely an opening night/weekend must see, though due to prior obligations ill probably have to catch this a week or 2 after its initial release
Cowboys and Aliens (Opening 7/29) I've been in at least 2 theaters where this trailer has played and people have scoffed at the name of the movie at the end. While I get that it seems like a ridiculous premise I cant help but have high hopes for this movie. I mean its a high concept collaboration (based on a graphic novel) between Jon Favreau (who has become one of the best filmmakers around today, period) and Steven Spielberg (who doesn't need and introduction) which is starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. How can anyone assume this will be a bad movie? Personally the fact that James Bond and Han Solo will be fighting aliens while dressed as cowboys is more than enough to get my full price ticket purchased. That coupled with the fact that this is really the last Big blockbuster being released this summer should give it time to earn a decent take at the box office. Definitely a must see movie for me plus they're not even trying to cash in with 3D so count me in for the midnight show...
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (opening 8/5) first it was called Caesar, then rise of the apes and now its rise of the planet of the apes...... initially it was coming out in June but then backed off and is now being released at the end of the summer in August....The promotion for the film places more emphasis of the fact that the effects are being done by WETA studios (who did the Lord of the Rings films and Avatar) than the actual film itself.....yet despite all of this, the movie looks really intriguing....its kind of shaping up like the "batman begins" of planet of the apes movies.....I'll check this out but it will probably be at a matinee, because I cant see lining up for a movie that the producers don't even seem like they're that sure will be that successful...
................well there you have it, the summer movie season in a nutshell....sure there's probably a few films that will slip under the radar and some great independent features that may make some waves but overall I think Ive addressed the larger scale films that will be fighting for your money this summer.....its a good time to be a fan of movies and hopefully ill see some of you there...but if you'll excuse me now I have to figure which of my kidneys I need to sell on the black market so I can pay for all of these tickets.... I'll see ya when I see ya folks....
GREEN LANTERN: (opens 6/17) for those of you who read my nonsense when I sporadically post it, you may recall in the past me referring to green lantern as my personal "most important" film of the summer. For me, seeing this movie actually coming to fruition is like a dream come true. As a kid I grew up loving comics and superhero's in general (Batman till this day being my personal favorite) but I always liked the green lantern (GL) story, and for some reason the character of Sinestro was always a personal favorite of mine(hopefully this film and future sequels will show you why). GL was something much different than the usual "lone hero" story. It was grand, more sci fi in nature. It always touched upon the idea that there was something bigger out there, that life wasn't just a series of random events that happen but instead there was a larger universe and plan at hand. As I got older I fell out of the loop as so many do and I lost touch with the stories in general but that all changed a few years ago when some friends reintroduced me to the character and gave me some books chronicling the major "events" the stories have taken on over the years. I was instantly hooked. Reading the past several years of GL titles (which have for the most part been masterfully helmed by Geoff Johns) has been, in my opinion, what people in 77 must have felt like watching Star Wars for the first time. With all that said this is where my excitement for the movie comes in. Part of me thinks theres no way this movie could live up to the source material, but the fact that its being made is hope enough. The first trailer for the movie didn't look great, but since then the film looks like it has some potential. As more information has come out about the film it looks like GL fans may actually get the huge sci fi film we have been hoping for. It really could go either way at this point but if its successful I look forward to what the future holds for this franchise (especially knowing how Epic the sequel stories could be). Without question I will be there opening night as I would only want to see this movie with other people who could recite the GL oath verbatim off the top of their head.....Go see it...opening weekend...see it in 3D, 4D or 5D....Just do it
Cars 2: (opening 6/24) perfection is a rare thing, but in the case of Pixar feature animation it is a reality. At this point they have produced 11 beautiful, well rounded and beloved films. These films have far surpassed numerous live features that have come out in the same time frame and you have to believe that they know what they are doing going into this summer's "Cars 2". A lot of people say that the original Cars was one of the lesser Pixar films but I thought it was a great story that further displayed their gifts as filmmakers. With all that said I have to admit I still find myself wondering if they're gonna go 12-0 with this movie. The first trailer made me roll my eyes to no end (pretty much what I was saying earlier about Jack Black's level of annoying but x1000 for Larry the Cable Guy) and I think many people expect this to be the first time Pixar "drops the ball". Nonetheless, this is Pixar....I'm sure they know what they are doing and I hope to be pleasantly surprised by what they do with this sequel...This will be a matinee for The family and I but I still wouldn't miss it in theaters.
Transformers : Dark of The Moon (opening 7/1) The first thing I thought when I saw the subtitle to this film was "really, they couldn't just pay Pink Floyd for the right to include the word side"?......after I got past the name my second thought was "at least it can't be worse than part 2" ....don't get me wrong, I paid to see part 2 in Imax so I understand and accept that I am part of the problem...and while there were some redeeming qualities (despite all the wrongs, they have just got Optimus Prime's persona so right) overall the second film was horrible on so many levels (The insanely racist twin robots and the constant toilet humor being my 2 least favorite aspects). Seeing the most recent trailers actually made me think they may have learned some lessons from the second film. I've read interviews with cast members who have openly admitted they messed up the second film so I guess that gives me some hope for this one. All in all, whether you like it or not, Transformers 3 is exactly what summer movies are supposed to be and for that reason I'll be there for the midnight Imax 3D showing....
Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows part 2: (opening 7/15) as much as I would love to write pages about my feelings toward this film there's really nothing that needs to be said. Your either excited about going to see this or your not. For many people it is the close to a series that they grew up with. Over a decades worth of love towards a series that will live on as a classic for generations. Get there early, enjoy the world J.K. Rowling created one last time with friends....and honestly bring a box of tissues because your probably going to need them.
Captain America (Opening 7/22) Marvel Studios 2nd entry (the first being Thor) in this summer's cornucopia of blockbusters is none other than the Star Spangled Superhero himself. From the looks of the trailer and the overall placement of this movie smack in the middle of summer, one can expect it to be yet another huge success for Marvel. Expect a great origin story that nicely sets up the last piece heading into next years HUGE Avengers film. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing this movie, though much like Thor I'm assuming the 3D will just be a waste of money for this one...definitely an opening night/weekend must see, though due to prior obligations ill probably have to catch this a week or 2 after its initial release
Cowboys and Aliens (Opening 7/29) I've been in at least 2 theaters where this trailer has played and people have scoffed at the name of the movie at the end. While I get that it seems like a ridiculous premise I cant help but have high hopes for this movie. I mean its a high concept collaboration (based on a graphic novel) between Jon Favreau (who has become one of the best filmmakers around today, period) and Steven Spielberg (who doesn't need and introduction) which is starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. How can anyone assume this will be a bad movie? Personally the fact that James Bond and Han Solo will be fighting aliens while dressed as cowboys is more than enough to get my full price ticket purchased. That coupled with the fact that this is really the last Big blockbuster being released this summer should give it time to earn a decent take at the box office. Definitely a must see movie for me plus they're not even trying to cash in with 3D so count me in for the midnight show...
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (opening 8/5) first it was called Caesar, then rise of the apes and now its rise of the planet of the apes...... initially it was coming out in June but then backed off and is now being released at the end of the summer in August....The promotion for the film places more emphasis of the fact that the effects are being done by WETA studios (who did the Lord of the Rings films and Avatar) than the actual film itself.....yet despite all of this, the movie looks really intriguing....its kind of shaping up like the "batman begins" of planet of the apes movies.....I'll check this out but it will probably be at a matinee, because I cant see lining up for a movie that the producers don't even seem like they're that sure will be that successful...
................well there you have it, the summer movie season in a nutshell....sure there's probably a few films that will slip under the radar and some great independent features that may make some waves but overall I think Ive addressed the larger scale films that will be fighting for your money this summer.....its a good time to be a fan of movies and hopefully ill see some of you there...but if you'll excuse me now I have to figure which of my kidneys I need to sell on the black market so I can pay for all of these tickets.... I'll see ya when I see ya folks....
The Films of Summer 2011 are Upon us: Part 1
Sooooo..... In the past, I have mentioned that I thoroughly enjoy going to the movies and would be writing about it in the future, but clearly due to the lack of that topic content on this blog, it would be right of you to say "Hey there for a second Writing Rambler, are you a dirty liar?".....short answer, yes, I am a dirty liar... but in my defense, that's just with most other things...... in regard to movies I actually do really enjoy the fine art that is cinema..... now that we've got that ugliness out of the way, lets get to some rambling....
Ahhh Summer 2011, how I have awaited thee.....After last year's dismal summer release schedule (Which if not for the 2 masterpieces of Toy Story 3 and Inception, would have probably been one of the worst ever....p.s. don't get me wrong I enjoyed Iron Man 2, Karate Kid and A-Team personally, but even with those included, 2010 was severely lacking in the summer blockbuster department) I have been really looking forward to the return of a summer full of huge blockbuster releases. By the looks of trailers and the release schedule so far, it seems like we are shaping up to see an extremely busy and fun time to be a fan of the movies. I know a lot of people complain because of rising ticket prices due to 3D and "Imax" add on fees (I put Imax in quotes because of the ever increasing "Imax" theater additions which are not actual IMAX screens, but instead just large screens with upgraded sound and camera systems....don't get me wrong, the quality is excellent but its still not the full IMAX theater experience which is still relegated to very few screens across the country.....annnnd that was one of the nerdiest tangent rants I have ever went on....which is saying a lot) and I agree with the sentiment fully, but there are always ways around going broke at the movies. My best advice, if you really want to see as many films as possible, is to take advantage of matinees!!! It seems like a no brainer but so many people ignore the fact that on weekdays most shows before 5-6pm are discounted and on the weekends most shows before noon are as well. Nonetheless, If you cant get out to all the big summer movies (and honestly even with matinees, theres so much stuff this summer that you'd probably need a home loan to take it all in) I've gone ahead and compiled a list/guide to what movies I think best deserve your hard earned money this summer. With that said...here we go (FYI this list will be in release date order so don't get your knickers in a bunch if your favorite movie isn't reviewed first):
FAST 5: (currently playing, released on 4/29) While technically a spring release, "Fast 5" definitely started this summer's big, loud movie season off in the right direction. Honestly, if you've never cared for the "Fast" series of films then this movie is probably not for you (also whats probably not for you: America, bbq's and being awesome in general). It's a movie that doesn't apologize for what it is and is a ton of fun if you let it be. Arguably the best entry in the "Fast" series, it, in a way, reinvents the franchise from a car racing theme to a heist series instead. Plus its got the Rock in it....I checked out the Imax matinee (no 3D thank the Lord above) and it was great, especially worth it for the sound system......I'm done here...go see it....
THOR: (currently playing, released on 5/6) what many people consider the true start to the summer movie season, Thor is the next superhero film in Marvel Studios lineup of blockbusters that started with Iron Man in 2008 (before you try to call me out and say there have been plenty of other Marvel films before Iron Man let me explain myself. Iron man was the first actual "Marvel Studios" film. Basically anything before it was made by others studios who licensed the characters from Marvel. Which is one of the reasons we have had numerous horrible superhero movies (cough cough Spiderman 3, X-Men 3, Daredevil..cough cough/etc)). Happily, Thor lives up to Marvel Studios standards of treating their source material with respect and also continues to set up the larger "Marvel film universe" which is leading to the Avengers film in 2012. Honestly, this could have been a very hard sell for general audiences due to the large fantasy element that Thor entails but director Kenneth Branagh did a great job blending Thor's fantasy world and the real world on screen so anyone can appreciate the story. Overall, It's a great summer movie that appeals to young and old alike. I highly recommend it.One thing I will say negatively is that I had the chance to see it in "Imax" 3D and while the movie looks and sounds great, the 3D conversion (meaning it wasn't shot in 3D, just converted in post production) is pointless and definitely not worth the extra money....
BRIDESMAIDS: (currently playing, released on 5/13) While I haven't seen it myself as of yet. I have heard nothing but positive reviews from those who have. Kristen Wiig is an exceptionally funny comedian and deserves a huge hit under her belt and hopefully she will get it from this movie. It just had a decent opening weekend where it came in 2nd place with about $25 million to Thor (in its 2nd weekend). This good start plus positive word of mouth should help its success in the long run. Ill definitely check this out and with it not being a 3d or Imax release I should be able to catch a nice matinee viewing sooner or later without breaking the bank.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES: (opens 5/20) The 4th entry in the Pirates of the Caribbean series seems like more of the same from what we've come to expect from the misadventures of Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow. It's been 4 years since the last "Pirates" film but with the exception of Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom not returning, I wouldn't expect much difference from this entry. Disney knows it has a successful franchise on its hands and will continue to produce sequels for the foreseeable future (not that that's a bad thing). These movies so far have been exciting, fun and are great viewing for the entire family and I expect no less from this entry. My opinion: I'll definitely check it out with the family at a matinee and I may cave and see it in 3D if only because it was actually shot with 3D cameras
THE HANGOVER 2: (opens 5/26) The original Hangover was such a huge success that this sequel was a no brainer. Personally, while I found the original film funny, I never quite got why so many people swear by it being one of the funniest films of all time. Honestly, this movie doesn't need much "talk up" because you already know if your gonna see it or not by now. It's gonna make a ton of money wheter or not it's just a rehashing of the first films exploits or not.... maybe I'll catch a matinee...Hey, at least it's not charging extra for "Imax" or 3D
KUNG FU PANDA 2: (opens 5/26) "Kung Fu Panda" really impressed me when I first saw it in 2008. I had written it off as an animated movie I would just deal with being forced to see because I had children and I can say I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of heart and quality that the film had. It showed that Dreamworks animation studios was intent on producing quality entertainment that could hopefully rival Pixar's dominance of the genre. Despite all this good memory, I find myself rolling my eyes at the trailers for the sequel. I honestly think its just Jack Black's personality (which has become more and more annoying with each film he makes) that's clouding my pre-judgement of this movie and hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised once again. This is definitely a matinee movie and I will be avoiding 3D if possible.
X-MEN:FIRST CLASS: (opens 6/3) ohhhhh how I want to hate you X-Men:First Class....why won't you let me hate you?!.....Normally I would be gushing about yet another superhero movie being released but I just want to despise this movie so badly.....there's several reasons for this: 1) While the X-Men are Marvel superheroes, this movie is not an actual Marvel Studios release (the rights are still owned by Fox, who due to a legal loophole get to keep the X-Men character rights as long as they keep producing X-Men films, no matter the quality) so I expect Fox to screw this movie up somehow in a rush to make a ton of money. 2) I absolutely hated what Fox did to this franchise in X-Men 3 and Wolverine (just thinking of Deadpool's butchering is making me angry right now)....3) yeah I'm still mad about Deadpool......yet despite all this anger I'm still somehow oddly intrigued by this movie. Maybe it's the fact that it looks like an origin story about Magneto and Xavier or maybe because it's being directed by Matthew Vaughn who after "Kick A$$" I fully trust with the reigns of a comic book movie....I don't know...it still makes me angry that somewhere deep down inside despite my hatred I want to see it..... I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll bite the bullet on this and be there for the midnight screening with the other nerds but I openly admit now I'm ashamed of myself for it....
SUPER 8: (opens 6/10) Here we go...the movie that I hope will wash whatever shame I have leftover from X-Men off for good...I can not wait for Super 8. While many casual moviegoers may not even know what movie this is, (other than a few vague creepy trailers so far) for film nerds (I can't stand the term cinephile....it sounds like some perv who is strangely attracted to DVDs or something) this may be the movie of the summer. Most people have no idea what the premise is other than what looks like a sci fi/alien/monster movie from the minds of JJ. Abrams and Steven Spielberg, but that alone should make you want to see this film! Add on to that the trailers, which seem to look like a throwback to earlier films like "stand by me" and "close encounters of the third kind" and you have what may be the surprise hit of the summer. Whether or not the general public will get behind this movie in a season of blockbuster after blockbuster is unknown but I have a strong feeling/hope this will be a classic in the making. I'll be there...."Imax".... Paramus....Midnight......Bill........those of you who know the deal, Ill see you there....
.... okay...I need a breather.... I realized the next movie on my list is Green Lantern and honestly I need a break before I start that one.... hopefully you've enjoyed so far.....see ya for part 2 of this list, which should be up soon
Ahhh Summer 2011, how I have awaited thee.....After last year's dismal summer release schedule (Which if not for the 2 masterpieces of Toy Story 3 and Inception, would have probably been one of the worst ever....p.s. don't get me wrong I enjoyed Iron Man 2, Karate Kid and A-Team personally, but even with those included, 2010 was severely lacking in the summer blockbuster department) I have been really looking forward to the return of a summer full of huge blockbuster releases. By the looks of trailers and the release schedule so far, it seems like we are shaping up to see an extremely busy and fun time to be a fan of the movies. I know a lot of people complain because of rising ticket prices due to 3D and "Imax" add on fees (I put Imax in quotes because of the ever increasing "Imax" theater additions which are not actual IMAX screens, but instead just large screens with upgraded sound and camera systems....don't get me wrong, the quality is excellent but its still not the full IMAX theater experience which is still relegated to very few screens across the country.....annnnd that was one of the nerdiest tangent rants I have ever went on....which is saying a lot) and I agree with the sentiment fully, but there are always ways around going broke at the movies. My best advice, if you really want to see as many films as possible, is to take advantage of matinees!!! It seems like a no brainer but so many people ignore the fact that on weekdays most shows before 5-6pm are discounted and on the weekends most shows before noon are as well. Nonetheless, If you cant get out to all the big summer movies (and honestly even with matinees, theres so much stuff this summer that you'd probably need a home loan to take it all in) I've gone ahead and compiled a list/guide to what movies I think best deserve your hard earned money this summer. With that said...here we go (FYI this list will be in release date order so don't get your knickers in a bunch if your favorite movie isn't reviewed first):
FAST 5: (currently playing, released on 4/29) While technically a spring release, "Fast 5" definitely started this summer's big, loud movie season off in the right direction. Honestly, if you've never cared for the "Fast" series of films then this movie is probably not for you (also whats probably not for you: America, bbq's and being awesome in general). It's a movie that doesn't apologize for what it is and is a ton of fun if you let it be. Arguably the best entry in the "Fast" series, it, in a way, reinvents the franchise from a car racing theme to a heist series instead. Plus its got the Rock in it....I checked out the Imax matinee (no 3D thank the Lord above) and it was great, especially worth it for the sound system......I'm done here...go see it....
THOR: (currently playing, released on 5/6) what many people consider the true start to the summer movie season, Thor is the next superhero film in Marvel Studios lineup of blockbusters that started with Iron Man in 2008 (before you try to call me out and say there have been plenty of other Marvel films before Iron Man let me explain myself. Iron man was the first actual "Marvel Studios" film. Basically anything before it was made by others studios who licensed the characters from Marvel. Which is one of the reasons we have had numerous horrible superhero movies (cough cough Spiderman 3, X-Men 3, Daredevil..cough cough/etc)). Happily, Thor lives up to Marvel Studios standards of treating their source material with respect and also continues to set up the larger "Marvel film universe" which is leading to the Avengers film in 2012. Honestly, this could have been a very hard sell for general audiences due to the large fantasy element that Thor entails but director Kenneth Branagh did a great job blending Thor's fantasy world and the real world on screen so anyone can appreciate the story. Overall, It's a great summer movie that appeals to young and old alike. I highly recommend it.One thing I will say negatively is that I had the chance to see it in "Imax" 3D and while the movie looks and sounds great, the 3D conversion (meaning it wasn't shot in 3D, just converted in post production) is pointless and definitely not worth the extra money....
BRIDESMAIDS: (currently playing, released on 5/13) While I haven't seen it myself as of yet. I have heard nothing but positive reviews from those who have. Kristen Wiig is an exceptionally funny comedian and deserves a huge hit under her belt and hopefully she will get it from this movie. It just had a decent opening weekend where it came in 2nd place with about $25 million to Thor (in its 2nd weekend). This good start plus positive word of mouth should help its success in the long run. Ill definitely check this out and with it not being a 3d or Imax release I should be able to catch a nice matinee viewing sooner or later without breaking the bank.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES: (opens 5/20) The 4th entry in the Pirates of the Caribbean series seems like more of the same from what we've come to expect from the misadventures of Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow. It's been 4 years since the last "Pirates" film but with the exception of Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom not returning, I wouldn't expect much difference from this entry. Disney knows it has a successful franchise on its hands and will continue to produce sequels for the foreseeable future (not that that's a bad thing). These movies so far have been exciting, fun and are great viewing for the entire family and I expect no less from this entry. My opinion: I'll definitely check it out with the family at a matinee and I may cave and see it in 3D if only because it was actually shot with 3D cameras
THE HANGOVER 2: (opens 5/26) The original Hangover was such a huge success that this sequel was a no brainer. Personally, while I found the original film funny, I never quite got why so many people swear by it being one of the funniest films of all time. Honestly, this movie doesn't need much "talk up" because you already know if your gonna see it or not by now. It's gonna make a ton of money wheter or not it's just a rehashing of the first films exploits or not.... maybe I'll catch a matinee...Hey, at least it's not charging extra for "Imax" or 3D
KUNG FU PANDA 2: (opens 5/26) "Kung Fu Panda" really impressed me when I first saw it in 2008. I had written it off as an animated movie I would just deal with being forced to see because I had children and I can say I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of heart and quality that the film had. It showed that Dreamworks animation studios was intent on producing quality entertainment that could hopefully rival Pixar's dominance of the genre. Despite all this good memory, I find myself rolling my eyes at the trailers for the sequel. I honestly think its just Jack Black's personality (which has become more and more annoying with each film he makes) that's clouding my pre-judgement of this movie and hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised once again. This is definitely a matinee movie and I will be avoiding 3D if possible.
X-MEN:FIRST CLASS: (opens 6/3) ohhhhh how I want to hate you X-Men:First Class....why won't you let me hate you?!.....Normally I would be gushing about yet another superhero movie being released but I just want to despise this movie so badly.....there's several reasons for this: 1) While the X-Men are Marvel superheroes, this movie is not an actual Marvel Studios release (the rights are still owned by Fox, who due to a legal loophole get to keep the X-Men character rights as long as they keep producing X-Men films, no matter the quality) so I expect Fox to screw this movie up somehow in a rush to make a ton of money. 2) I absolutely hated what Fox did to this franchise in X-Men 3 and Wolverine (just thinking of Deadpool's butchering is making me angry right now)....3) yeah I'm still mad about Deadpool......yet despite all this anger I'm still somehow oddly intrigued by this movie. Maybe it's the fact that it looks like an origin story about Magneto and Xavier or maybe because it's being directed by Matthew Vaughn who after "Kick A$$" I fully trust with the reigns of a comic book movie....I don't know...it still makes me angry that somewhere deep down inside despite my hatred I want to see it..... I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll bite the bullet on this and be there for the midnight screening with the other nerds but I openly admit now I'm ashamed of myself for it....
SUPER 8: (opens 6/10) Here we go...the movie that I hope will wash whatever shame I have leftover from X-Men off for good...I can not wait for Super 8. While many casual moviegoers may not even know what movie this is, (other than a few vague creepy trailers so far) for film nerds (I can't stand the term cinephile....it sounds like some perv who is strangely attracted to DVDs or something) this may be the movie of the summer. Most people have no idea what the premise is other than what looks like a sci fi/alien/monster movie from the minds of JJ. Abrams and Steven Spielberg, but that alone should make you want to see this film! Add on to that the trailers, which seem to look like a throwback to earlier films like "stand by me" and "close encounters of the third kind" and you have what may be the surprise hit of the summer. Whether or not the general public will get behind this movie in a season of blockbuster after blockbuster is unknown but I have a strong feeling/hope this will be a classic in the making. I'll be there...."Imax".... Paramus....Midnight......Bill........those of you who know the deal, Ill see you there....
.... okay...I need a breather.... I realized the next movie on my list is Green Lantern and honestly I need a break before I start that one.... hopefully you've enjoyed so far.....see ya for part 2 of this list, which should be up soon
Monday, May 9, 2011
The Beard and I: Our first anniversary
So about a year ago I decided to start growing a beard. I don't know what made me do it. It may have been me looking for a way to "re-invent" myself or possibly it was just severe depression that LOST was coming to an end, coupled with my own quiet respect for the mighty lumberjack. Who knows what possesses a man to do the things he does? What I can say is that I'm happy I have ventured over to the side of those with facial follicles a plenty. At first I was a little scared that once in full bloom I would be mistaken for some wannabe trendy hipster (a fate worse than death in my eyes) who was growing a beard because "I didn't care how people viewed me" but then I realized most hipsters wouldn't be wandering around in pajama pants and an authentic personalized Cleveland browns jersey 90% of his time (but so help me if they do start, the next place I write this blog from will be from the prison library where I'm serving time for the Jersey City hipster murders), so I just went with it. It's been a cool ride so far and I figured I'd include some pics of me and my beard & the Hijinks we've shared so far this year.
Let me start by showing me when the beard first started. Clearly I was in a sad place and only good could come from this new venture.....
....Well see you when we see you folks.....
Let me start by showing me when the beard first started. Clearly I was in a sad place and only good could come from this new venture.....
....Here we are getting to meet Andy Richter.....would this have happened without my new grizzled look?...I highly doubt it.....
.....And here we are a few months in at my old job. I say my old job because my entire department was axed about 5 months into this beard project......I'm sure that had nothing to do with it (I mean showing up to work looking like a crazed hobo is always a good thing, right?)......
....Next up was our Emmy win for awesomeness in the bearded arts....
....One day I woke up and realized the beard taking on its own personality (Kinda like the Venom symbiote of beards)...most people would fear this....I just strapped in for the ride...
.....Here's the time we got elected mayor of the leprechaun parade....good times had by all....
.....sadly these good times did not last as I woke up in Mexico and had apparently become a bandito.....but that's a much different story for a much different day.....
.....after our return from Mexico we started a lounge act to pay our way back home....
......and here I am at our lowest .... I realized at this point the beard was fully in control and I needed to take some power back.....
....a few trims later and all seems to be back on track. We are sharing a fair balance of my persona at this point and I even got him a Thor crown for his first Birthday
....It's been a wild year and I cant wait to see what adventures the future holds for us both....but first as an added bonus for the blog readers here's a picture of us post shower getting ready for a night out on the town (Ohhh Lord, why did I upload this one?).....
....Well see you when we see you folks.....
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